Yokoi is an incredible bore. He controls position throughout, which kills his matches because he has zero offense. He can't strike to save his life, and though he tries arm bars and even won with one here, he doesn't have what you could call submission skills. Basically, even when he gets the mount he just wastes the position. At one point, he had this huge flurry where he missed at least 3/4 of the punches.

Venetiaan never got his strikes going, and they are all he has. After getting taken down quickly his ground defense was exposed, at least to the extent it can be when your opponent has the most remedial offense. Venetiaan's loss was particularly pathetic because Yokoi essentially told him he was going for the arm bar, but Venetiaan had so little defense that Yokoi wrenched his way to the submission anyway. A DUD. 2R 3:29

With this matchmaking, it would only be a story if the bout was somehow competitive. Yamamoto isn't quite as pitiful as Ohara, at least he spent his pro career working shoots, but again this is a guy who has never proved a thing in a legitimate setting. That worked edge for Yamamoto might be negated when you consider how much smaller and weaker than Ohara he is. Granted it's the same weight class, but it takes an IQ of about 5 to realize if he wanted to, Randleman could win a decision by just controlling Yamamoto the whole time with his wrestling skill. Of course, Randleman is a bit of a nut and he'd rather beat someone at their own game, which makes a fight interesting if he's against a guy like Pedro Rizzo that is an expert in one area. However, against the clowns PRIDE books him against it just makes for an exhibition match where, since his opponent has no game and is no threat whatsoever, Randleman just decided I'm going to strike today or in this case I'm going to go for a submission today.

Randleman kept going for the deadly key lock, one of the most remedial submissions and one that is unlikely to force someone to quit even if it's applied properly for a long time. When he finally got it, Yamamoto reversed him because Randleman never bothered to take the side mount position that might have given him the proper leverage. Randleman decked Yamamoto with a left, but even though Yamamoto was groggy, Randleman basically gave Yamamoto guard. Randleman did pass with ease so he could try and try for the key lock, which is hard to get on when you don't strike or go for anything else to create an opening and he doesn't apply well anyway.

Randleman eventually had to open up, finally throwing some punches from side mount in round 2. Yamamoto was theoretically in full submission mode, but basically he just laid on his back the whole fight trying to survive. When Randleman finally gave in and unleashed the knees, the fight was over almost instantly. The fight was serious fast forward material, another turd that you knew would be one the moment the brainiacs announced it, but the finish was really neat because of Randleman's innovative knee technique. He brought his body up like a handstand then dropped the knee, once even a double knee. 3R 1:16

This was one of those matches that almost couldn't go wrong. The first 3 minutes were classic - more counters and transitions than I could count, all done in the blink of an eye. Ninja tried a jumping knee at the bell, but Arona ducked, dropped him to the mat, and took side mount. Ninja got right up, but Arona tripped him down and passed guard only to have Ninja take guard back before any damage could be done. Ninja threw knees from the clinch, and he's so flexible that he can get one up to Arona's cheek.

I thought Arona was going to lose in the end for two reasons. First, he seemed to need a breather after a few minutes because the pace was so crazy. I thought the younger Ninja would go on to wear him out, but Arona was able to slow things down when he needed to, particularly through the takedown. Second, Arona got an absurd yellow card when he was on the bottom for stalling. It amazes me how PRIDE can allow their favorites to gain points for riding time, yet dish out a yellow card for taking the pace down below 100 MPH for a brief segment.

Ninja mainly caught Arona with a left high kick, but Arona then got the takedown. It looked like Arona got a submission with an akiresukengatame. This was largely because Arona tried to spin out in the wrong direction, essentially getting stuck once he got to his stomach with Arona having both of Ninja's legs under his left. The stoppage was not a submission though, but the end of the 1st round. No controversy here because the replays showed Arona didn't even have the submission locked when the round ended.

Though Arona didn't do much with his takedowns, they did neutrallize Ninja's standup. Ninja was more active, but Arona was in control more often than not. Still, these guys fight on such a high level that it was hard for either to have much success. Arona won outright, which surprised me because of the yellow card. I gave him a slight edge because he took Ninja out of his striking game and Ninja didn't come close to submissions, but Arona didn't come close to winning either and the 1 point deduction evened it out to me. Either way, it was the best fight of the night, as expected. The first three minutes exceeded my expectations, but as a whole the fight didn't because it only had its moments after that. 3R

This looked like like a fairly even matchup, as you'd hope when a heavyweight title shot was at stake. Herring came out with a front kick, which Fedor caught and turned into a takedown. That was how the night went for Herring, as Fedor was the better fighter in all areas and basically put on a clinic. Herring used an open guard, which played into Fedor's hand. In fact, allowing Fedor room to work and not making him worry about defending anything was killing Herring. Fedor not only landed big powerful strikes on the ground because he had the proper distance, but often did them for the purpose of advancing position or creating an opening. Really, this was one of the best examples of ground and pound, ever.

Fedor hurt Herring with a hard left and threw several move punches while Herring was rolling around and covering up. Later, after Herring had been cut under his left eye, Heath got a yellow card for trying to leave the ring to save himself. The ground and pound was really doing damage to Herring, who was also cut on his forehead and already had a swollen face. Herring had opportunities to stand up, but he didn't do anything. Not that standing up did him any good in this match because Fedor even suplexed Herring after catching his kick, but he needed to at least try to make some adjustment. Finally he got a reversal and threw knees from the north/south position, but it was too little too late and the doctor stopped the match in between rounds. Herring was a huge disappointment, but the match was enjoyable because Fedor did so many things well and really put a hurting on him. 1R

The PRIDE freak show pulled into town. Semmy Schilt had no chance, but like WWE, DSE would rather give you Oddities than a good match. To his credit, Schilt obviously worked hard on his sprawl, improving it to the point that not only someone, but one of the better takedown guys, didn't take him down with ease. In fact, Nogueira actually had to pull Schilt into guard once.

Even more than his takedown defense, Schilt's problem is that he's just too slow. He can get away with it in kickboxing because he seemingly has double reach, but in a shoot he's not quick enough to make anyone pay for shooting on him, which means he never gets a chance to kickbox. Thus, there's basically no position where Schilt can succeed in PRIDE (because with the weight classes he can't fight 5'1", 150 pound guys like in Pancrase) unless his opponent is really slow and has no takedown skills. I thought Schilt would never get off his back, but he did surprise me by getting on top when Nogueira went for an arm bar. Too bad for Semmy that this just meant Nogueira tapped him with a sankakujime instead. As expected, Schild never made you believe he had a chance. Academic. Round 1 6:36

PRIDE Middlekyu Senshuken Jiai: Vanderlei Silva vs. Hiromitsu Kanehara

Kanehara doesn't lack heart, or really even skill. He certainly doesn't lack a chin. Of course, all of that doesn't mean he's got even a slight chance of beating such a devestating opponent. At least this fight was fun because Silva got to go to town on Kanehara with his strikes. I'll give Kanehara credit for always having entertaining fights, almost regardless of league or legitimacy, but this was pretty much suicide. I mean, he came out swinging against Silva...And he just got rocked until his head was pushed down from a right he couldn't duck, so Silva crushed him with a left high kick as he was getting up and backing out. Kanehara got guard, but once he went for a submission from the bottom Silva stood up and started kicking his thighs, forcing him to stand also. Silva rocked Kanehara throughout, culminating with a face stomp for the TKO. Easily one of the best fights of the night, but it's frustrating when title matches are neither competitive on paper nor in actuality. Round 1 6:02

Frye was going to retire, but they apparently "urged" him back for one more payday. It was pretty obvious that he would rather have been planning a nice vacation with his travel advisor than getting in the ring. That was, perhaps, his training regiment. In any case, whatever the score was here, this match was a cheat. The Don Frye we've seen all these years didn't show up, and we instead got a weak indifferent one that took the money and ran. Frye came out wearing a gi and didn't take it off until after the ref's instructions. If this was a one up on judo star Yoshida, it was the only one that Frye got. Yoshida took him down right away and tried to choke. He got Frye's back when Frye was trying to stand up. You couldn't tell if Yoshida really had the choke locked, but after the Gracie sham they probably couldn't get away with the ref "saving" Yoshida's opponent at first chance. Eventually, Frye slipped out the back and did a little ground and pound, but it was not the effective ground and pound we are accustomed to. In fact, Frye didn't land one good punch in the entire fight.

Frye wasn't in control for long. When he was high in Yoshida's open guard, Yoshida hooked an arm bar. Yoshida missed getting his leg under Frye's head the first time, so this was one slow hook that made Frye look really inept. Frye didn't do anything to try to get his arm free or resist in any way. The English announcers put over the gi helping Yoshida hold on to the arm, but Frye would have actually had to move his arm for there to be the chance of it slipping. Frye took a long time to tap for a guy that wasn't doing anything to try to get out, but I guess that still "makes it more dramatic" in works like this. Round 1 7:13

This should have been the main event. Granted Takada has been a dog since 1996, but PRIDE wouldn't exist if not for the crowds he drew, and his retirement was the definitely main attraction today. I'm not going to get sentimental because the Takada I loved is long gone, but considering they kept using him for the fans he could bring while knowing full well that Takada would never, could never exist, he does deserve a proper send off.

The irony of the match positioning is that this was Takada's first entertaining PRIDE match, and Sakuraba's first unentertaining PRIDE match. There was irony in the way Tamura beat his former mentor, too. Takada's star shined the brightest in UWF-I when he would beat the larger slower gaijins, particularly monsters Vader and the late Gary Albright. Though always part of his arsenal, his low kicks were particular important in those works because there was less he could do to such massive opponents and they set up his deadly high kicks. Here, the reality of Takada's striking and his age were readily apparent.

In a shoot, Takada is only marginally better on the ground than a guy that's only done kickboxing because he never bothered to learn the real positions. Thus, about all he can hope to do is land some kicks. That couldn't work against Tamura though because he's simply too quick for Takada. Of course, age had little to do with the outcome because if you switched the ages Tamura would still win easily since he knows how to shoot and Takada is probably more clueless than most of the guys in the underground scene. It's funny watching Takada try to shoot because he just kind of throws out things that worked when people went along with him. For instance, he throws high kicks with no setup.

Takada, as always, knew he had no chance of winning, but maybe because it was his last fight or maybe because Tamura is a guy he knows well, he actually fought. He was cautious, but he mixed it up a lot more than he ever has. I suppose this was partially because Tamura didn't try to take him down like the BJJ and wrestlers he's fought, but in any case Takada didn't get into his out and out stalling.

Tamura fought a smart entertaining fight. He could have beat Takada on the mat, but it proved more for him to do it in standup because Takada was supposed to be the master striker and Tamura was supposed to be more of a technician that could strike but rarely won that way. Tamura took what was there, doing a lot of damage with low kicks.

The match obviously could have been better if Takada was a fighter. Takada had to back away from Tamura because he had no defense against the strikes. You'd think after 20 some odd years the guy would have learned the proper way to block a low kick, but instead he learned how quickly your thighs bruise. This backpedalling resulted in a kick intended for the thigh becoming a low blow. Takada was down for a year and a day, actually about 6 minutes, with this giving him another excuse for losing in addition to his bad knee and elbow, both of which were all taped up so no one could miss them.

After taking far too many punishing kicks, Takada knew he had to take Tamura down to save himself. He didn't really know how to do it, but with a big awkward energy burst he managed to succeed. Of course, Tamura was quickly able to push Takada off and take the top position, but Tamura didn't really try to beat Takada on the mat. Tamura won in a far more spectacular fashion. When Takada charged in punching, Tamura largely avoided with a step to the right and decked Takada with a right at the same time.

So, in a sense, we finally got the match that never really happened in UWF-I. Tamura and Masahito Kakihara were the young studs that everyone knew should be elevated, except the promotion. In going with the Takada vs. Vader and Albright programs through three matches without getting another guy involved, UWF-I had nothing left once they'd run their course. Tamura was the smart one, bailing out before New Japan made mince meat out of the league and all the fighters reputations. Unfortunately, the classic worked match we didn't see when they met in 1993 because Tamura wasn't pushed enough and didn't see after that because they didn't build Tamura up for the big match, semi-wasting him until he broke free is no longer a possibility today. It's a different world now, in part because of these blunders though really they only sped the transition up, and though the legitimate matches as a whole are much better, they leave some guys out in the cold and made others less valuable and entertaining than they could be. Takada is the former, not in terms of money but as far as his capability goes, and this final match only proved what everyone should have known for years. Tamura and Kanehara are the later, and while they both had entertaining matches, Tamura vs. either Takada or Kanehara in a work would have been far better. Round 2 1:00

Arsene is a French national J-J champ, but it's not like he beat the Gracie's to capture that title and he's got little professional experience. At best he should have been a stiff to feed Yoshida; certainly he didn't belong anywhere near the main event. Sakuraba was out to prove something, but I don't know quite what. I know that has health was bad. He was noticably hobbling on his way to the ring, but in general he fought like he wasn't sure what he was capable of and was afraid of further injury. Well, maybe that's not exactly true because he knew very early that Arsene presented no threat.

It looked like they had a gentleman's agreement not to strike, which I can understand because Sakuraba has been hurt badly by top notch strikers, but wasn't to Sakuraba's benefit because Arsene isn't a good enough striker to do anything to Sakuraba. More importantly, Arsene had no clue how to defend against strikes and was just a cover up type. As far as I could tell, the problem here was Arsene really didn't do anything. Sakuraba seemed overly fixated on an arm submission, but basically since he either wasn't striking or wasn't hitting Arsene hard enough to make him move, there wasn't an opening for such a submission.

I have to put some blame Sakuraba on though because he seemed to be laying back as well. Maybe there wasn't an opening for what he wanted, but I thought there were many times, especially in the early portions, where he didn't bother taking what was there. Sakuraba wasn't in any danger and was going to win a decision if it came to that, so he didn't have to put himself at risk or be aggressive. That's not an excuse for giving up opportunities that have little to no risk though, especially in favor of what turned out to be nothing.

The match was like watching an exhibition. Sakuraba heated it up a little toward the end, more out of frustration than anything else I think, but the match never even approached entertaining. Well, it was funny to see Sakuraba make fun of Arsene for lying on his side and covering up by giving him some Mongolian double punches. It was more sad though that Arsene had his arms over his eyes like a little kid hoping mommy would show up and bail him out when Sakuraba had him mounted and was just slapping him since he's a nice guy.

When Sakuraba actually threw a legit right hand at the start of the third round, he of course landed it square. Sakuraba finally put everyone out of their misery by getting the udehishigigyakujujigatame submission. I'd rate this as one of the most pitiful shoots I've ever seen. Arsene's performance was one of the most pathetic ever because the only thing he tried was not to fight. He spent much of the match covering, and he couldn't even do that properly! 3R 2:08